The Daily Show News June 3, 2012  |  Chet

Fake Football related news is hard to come by at this time of the year, but there is some and I’ll make up the rest.

Jonathan Stewart says he wants to stay in Carolina. I’m not sure why and this information is mostly meaningless because he will go where the money is, but it gives me a chance to lament The Daily Show’s lot in life. He’s been touch blocked by DeAngelo Williams for a few years now and then Cam Newton goal-lined blocked him last season and now the Panthers decided they needed Mike Tolbert for some unknown reason. What the what? Yeah, I don’t know either. Stewart’s numbers have been elite for the last few seasons but of course only in limited opportunities. Last season he did become the primary receiving back with 60 targets to Williams’ 25. He’s the back to own between the two and if his ADP of the 8th round stays true I’d still grab him there as a high risk/high reward guy.

Randy Moss: So far all the news out of San Francisco is good in regards to Moss. Beat reporter Matt Maiocco believes he’ll start the season as the #1 split end if things continue as they have been. And if he grows his hair out again those split ends could be a problem. (hair joke, check) I’m not overly optimistic about Moss with Alex Smith at the helm. Let others pay for his name and the hype.

Jacoby Jones: Jones will return kicks and punts while also lining out wide in the Ravens’ offense. His upside is limited by the run heavy offense and Smith and Boldin taking away looks, but in return yardage leagues he will very much be worth a roster spot.

Jake Locker: It looks like there will be a true quarterback competition between Locker and Hasselbeck this preseason. Coach Munchak says it is 50/50 as to who will win and we probably won’t know until the 3rd game of the preseason. I am rooting hard for Jake Locker and I believe he will only need to show some competency to beat out Hasselbeck. Old Man Hass may be able to keep the Titans in games better, but his skills have diminished and he won’t be leading them into the playoffs anytime soon. Locker is more of a wildcard, but with Britt, Cook and Wright the Titans need a bigger arm and Locker has that along with young legs to make things happen when plays break down. Hass will be 37 in September. It is time for Locker.

Adrian Peterson: He’s sounding pretty confident that he’ll be ready for week one and it’s hard to doubt him. I know it’s all hype and hyperbole when talking about how he’s superman and can heal himself through his excess of badassness, but hey, he seems to be showing it on the ground as well in talk. He just beat Percy Harvin a couple of times in a “hill race” and not long ago he was doing this.  Don’t bet against him.

Kenny Britt: He will be limited in training camp due to his ACL/MCL recovery, as well as his recent “minor” surgery. We’ll have to see him really back before we can officially draft him as high as his upside is. I don’t doubt his abilities at all, but he’s no Adrian Peterson in his recovery. This could open up a lot of time for Kendall Wright. Keep your eye planted on him.

Matt Ryan: Supposedly new offensive coordinator Dirk Koetter is going to use the no-huddle offense more which, if it happens, would get me even higher on Ryan. He’s matured enough and has the weapons to run the no-huddle and has shined while doing so the last couple seasons. Let’s just hope coach Smith can get the stick out his rear end.

Kevin Smith: The off-season hype here needs to be taken with a big block of salt but reports of his conditioning are good after having dealt with so many injuries that he was always rehabbing instead of really working out. He’s a long shot for sure but he’s one of my guys so I’m taking a flyer on him in deep leagues.

Roy Helu: With Tim Hightower back Helu may be had at a discount. I don’t doubt Shanahan will screw us fake footballers around to some degree but Helu is much better than Hightower and will win that job eventually.

Justin Blackmon: He was caught drunk driving for the second time in 20 months. This time he blew a .24 which is three times the legal limit in Oklahoma and having spent time in Oklahoma I believe you can drive legally while sniffing diesel, so there’s that. I doubt he gets suspended for this since his first offense was while he was in college, but even though he hasn’t signed, this one will most likely count as his first Goodell strike. I wouldn’t worry too much in rookie dynasty drafts though. It’s not like he ate someone’s grill or something.

Lestar Jean: With Jacoby Jones gone and Kevin Walter just whatever and Andre Johnson aging and becoming more injury prone, Jean has been taking advantage of his shot according to coach Kubiak and WR coach Larry Kirksey. He’s built like a #1 receiver and is learning from one of the most dominant receivers in the game. He’s someone to keep your eyes on.

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