Fantasy Football Week 16: Super Bowl and Festivus for the Rest of Us December 21, 2011  |  Brien Bonneville


The year, many of my favorite TV shows and the fake football season are coming to an end but I prefer to look forward to the start of things like my league’s Super Bowl match ups, Festivus, Christmas, the NBA season, the real NFL playoffs and 2012.

If you’re still reading about fake football, chances are you’re in your league’s Super Bowl. Pat yourself of the back, tweet/text your friend a gloating message and prepare for battle.

We just had a strange week in football (the Packers lost to a Chiefs team that had been left for dead, the Colts earned their first win, some fake football studs dropped off the face of the earth and some duds arose from the grave) but I think some things return to normal this week.

The tradition of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances.:

  • In my poor impression of Frank Costanza yelling – “I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you’re gonna hear about it.  Andre Johnson, Greg Jennings, and Darren McFadden you are fantasy deadbeats. You took our nice draft picks and abandoned us when we needed you.” You need to drop these bums (unless in Keeper leagues) because you need the roster spot and their regular season action is done or will be limited to a few snaps in week 17.
  • Sit Minnesota’s RB Toby Gerhart because Adrian Peterson is back and is looking to make good on his promise to fantasy owners. If you’re still reading this article, I’m assuming it’s not too late for you (like the thousands of fake football seasons he sandbagged last week).
  • Unless you have a big lineup hole, I’d avoid Chicago RBs Kahlil Bell and Marion Barber, who have been filling in for the injured Matt Forte. Last week, they opted to start Bell over Barber who blew the game against the Broncos two weeks ago. Bell performed extremely well but with Barber still hanging around, it could be a time share. The best case scenario is that one takes a majority of the carries but we won’t know who (signs point to Bell) but to keep up with Green Bay they’ll be throwing the entire game.
  • This is a no-brainer but by no means should you be starting Tennessee QB Matt Hasselbeck this week. Jake Locker could be throwing at a moment’s notice. Don’t start Locker either.
  • Don’t let last week fool you, Peyton Hillis is barely startable unless its your last flex position. He plays the Ravens this week and they are not too happy about the beating they just received.
  • Temper your expectations with Marshawn Lynch. He’s good but he’s not that good and San Francisco’s Run D is that good.  Did that make sense? He’s OK to start but don’t expect too much from him. San Francisco hasn’t given up a rushing TD all season.
  • Sit Brandon Lloyd. Who knows who ends up throwing to this guy and he plays the Steelers.

Christmas Presents:

  • Ho, Ho, Ho, Plenty of touchdowns for all you good boys and girls. Start your Saints’ and New Orleans’ receiving options: Julio Jones, Roddy White, Tony Gonzalez, Marques ColstonDarren Sproles and Jimmy Graham are all in for a nice shootout game.
  • Just like Santa, you just have to believe in him and get rewarded. If you need someone to fill the QB position you could do a lot worse, pick up Rex Grossman will be a nice start at home Vs. the Vikings. He’ll turn the ball over but rack up the yards and throw for a few TDs. Santana Moss will have his best day in a long time and Jabar Gaffney should be a nice flex spot choice. They had a great match up last week and should have done better fantasy-wise but they went up quick and stopped throwing early.
  • The Buffalo Defense stops no one and Denver runs the ball a lot. If Willis McGahee gets the start he’ll have a big day, if not, look out for Lance Ball who could be the pickup of the week. Demaryius Thomas now has 33 targets in three weeks, start him along with the chosen one, Tim Tebow.
  • I don’t understand what happened to the Packers but it was a fluke, a statistical anomaly, etc. Don’t worry about it, get the Men In Black to use their flashy thing and remove it from your mind. Start everyone like was recommended last week (assuming you don’t hear they are sitting people before the game): Jordy Nelson and Donald Driver should have a good day; James Jones or Ryan Grant is worth a flex spot or as a low RB2 or high RB3.
  • As they try to contend for the AFC’s number one seed, Baltimore’s Ray Rice will be a fantasy beast against the Browns weak Run-D.
  • I refuse to believe Tampa Bay’s LeGarrette Blount does that little again, especially Vs. Carolina. I do not think he’s a stud RB but he is be startable in a flex spot or a RB3.
  • Start Matt Moore and Brandon Marshall Vs. the Patriots. Not much needs to be said here, each and every week the Patriots give it up. Also, Reggie Bush is now a must start RB1 in all leagues.
  • I’m avoiding the Patriots backfield and starting both TEs Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez. He began your fantasy season this way and will end many of them, I think Wes Welker is the Patriot with a monster week.
  • Giants Coach Tom Coughlin said that he hoped TE Jake Ballard‘s injury isn’t season ending. That means sit him and find a replacement this week.
  • A guy usually on my hate list, Rashard Mendenhall should be in your lineups this week. Ben Roethlisberger‘s injury means they’ll rely on him a bit more against the Rams’ terrible Run-D. He’s been pretty disappointing this year but if you drafted him and made it this far, he redeems himself this week. All that said, I’ve lost confidence in the Pittsburgh WRs (Mike Wallace and Antonio Brown) for the remainder of the regular season.
  • Watch to see if Washington Running Back Roy Helu is limited this week. He was getting worked on at the trainer’s table throughout the game last week.
  • The Panthers D/ST against an atrocious Tampa Bay team could be a sneaky pickup.

If this is your last week, I wish you the best. Let me know on the twitter (@BBonneville) how it went. If you win, hit up the local watering hole and make it rain like 50-cent in da club then tweet me.

We’ll be back well before your 2012 fake football draft day. If you play fake baseball,  watch the twitter machine to get updates about our new fake baseball site launching real soon. Peace… and stay tuned for more pretend awesomeness.

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