Hey fake footballers, welcome to the Week 12 Ranksauce. I’m really feeling the Thanksgiving tradition this week, so I’m going to kick things off with a ranking of savory Turkey Day dishes:
1. Gravy. It’s gotta be #1 because it makes all other Thanksgiving foods better.
2. Stuffing. If gravy were only condiment-eligible, stuffing would be the clear #1 pick.
3. Mashed potatoes. Step 1: Create a well in your mashed potatoes with your spoon and fill it with gravy. Step 2: Profit.
4. Sweet potatoes. Clearly I have a thing for starches.
5. Brussels sprouts. My sleeper pick of the holiday season, brussels need to be prepared properly to justify this ranking (Pro tip: roast ‘em, people!).
As a bonus, here’s my all-avoid list for Thanksgiving:
1. Turkey. Sorry pilgrims, the Ranksauce is vegetarian.
2. Cranberry sauce. What can I say? It just doesn’t make my turkey gobble.
On to the Week 12 ranks!