I have anecdotal evidence that makes me believe many of you could not or would not use the Cardinals’ defense as your Week 8 dreamy streamer.
Good for you, dear reader. Good for you. To those who rolled with the Cardinals: Please berate me on Twitter.
It seems many of you took my secondary suggestion, the Dolphins, who massacred the Jets to the lovely little tune of 21 fantasy points last week. Arizona, on the other hand, proved a lifeless, heartless corpse against a 49ers team that simply toyed with them from start to finish. The Cardinals collected four sacks, but couldn’t force a turnover — didn’t come all that close, really — and were continually mauled by the rabid animals on the San Francisco offensive line.
Let’s try this again. I’ve included my two favorite streaming options — units I’m using in all leagues in Week 9 — along with no-brainer plays at the bottom of this week’s entries.
San Diego Chargers vs. Chiefs – Whatever the Chargers’ myriad issues — and there are many — the defense has not been one. Norv Turner’s offense, like an discombobulated unit, has often put the defense in unenviable situations, explaining, in part, why San Diego has allowed more than 20 points in four of its past five contests.
Now for the good news: Romeo Crennel and his hilarious hodgepodge of hopeless halfwits are stumbling into San Diego this week, bemoaning the loss of the King of Bros, Brady Quinn, and wondering if Shaun Draughn can be their foundation back while Jamaal Charles plays a little punt protector. Offensive coordinator Brian Daboll’s creepy Peyton Hillis fetish and borderline obsession with Dexter McCluster has been good news for opposing defenses.
As I’m apt to say, let Brian Daboll wash over you.
The Chargers sport the league’s 10th ranked defense, giving up a paltry 5.3 yards per play and the eighth fewest average points per game. The secondary has been whipped by the likes of Peyton Manning and Drew Brees, both of whom are seen as just marginally better than the Chiefs’ begrudged starter, Matt Cassel.
San Diego pitched a shutout last week against the Browns after Cleveland marched down the field for a touchdown late in the first quarter (the game was a total slopfest, I grant you). The Chargers poured it on against the Chiefs in Week 4, totaling 20 fantasy points with three interceptions, three fumble recoveries, and a touchdown. There’s no reason to expect much different on Thursday night.
Miami Dolphins at Colts – My broken record continues to spin. The Dolphins’ defense, despite a secondary that resembles swiss cheese more every week, has averaged 12.9 fantasy points per game over the past month, including Week 8’s demolition of the Jets.
Miami hasn’t given up more than 13 points since Week 4. And in case you haven’t noticed, Andrew Luck has looked like, well, a rookie during large swaths of the past few weeks. Luck has one touchdown toss — a miracle overtime score courtesy of Vick Ballard’s Neo imitation — over the past three games. And the Colts’ running game continues to sputter along, with the offensive line getting no push against opposing fronts. Going against the Dolphins’ fierce front seven won’t cure any of those ills.
Somehow, Miami is owned in 15 percent of ESPN leagues. Go ahead and right that wrong.
Here are Week 9’s no-brainer defensive plays (teams I would use over the Dolphins and Chargers): Steelers, Giants, Seahawks, Texans, Packers, and Bears.