The Vikings and Rams – the duo of defenses that I so breathlessly recommended last week to Fake Football fiends – warmed your fantasy heart, thanks in large part to two things I like to call Kevin Kolb and Matt Hasselbeck.
Bad signal callers on bad offenses with bad offensive lines should be our target, as streamers, every week. The several dozen people who tuned in to the Thursday Night Football debacle saw the worst offensive line in football allow nine sacks against the Rams. It got so bad, the inexplicable tuft of hair beneath Kolb’s mouth was covered with blood by halftime.
Hasselbeck employed his veteran savvy to avoid at least four sacks in Sunday’s game at Minnesota. The Vikings harassed the bald fat man all day, intercepting him once and sacking him twice.
Both the Rams and the Vikings were top-10 fantasy defenses in Week 5. Before you applaud, let’s get to Week 6’s dreamy defensive streamers.
vs. Chiefs: I’m banking, of course, on the ghost of Brady Quinn failing to pull the Chiefs back to NFL respectability in the absence of Matt Cassel, who has been perhaps the most depressing player to watch over the past two years. The Bucs are at home, coming off a bye week, facing a team that has used an offensive game plan from just before the advent of the forward pass. Tampa Bay has allowed the 10th fewest points of any defense in the league, and if you can overlook their shellacking at the hands of a red-hot Redskins offense in Week 4, the pirates in pewter pants have played solid defense, a point that head coach Greg Schiano has bragged about this month. Chiefs head coach Romeo Crennel has gone on record saying he wants to run the ball even more in the coming weeks. This, as you may have guessed, is an invitation for the Bucs to stack the line of scrimmage and stuff Jamaal Charles and his thirty-some rushing attempts. The Bucs have the league’s last-ranked pass defense, but against the league’s worst passing attack, they should fair just fine. Tampa is an easy top-10 fantasy defensive play in Week 6. Tampa is owned in 4.3 percent of ESPN.com leagues, 4.9 percent on NFL.com, and, somehow, 19 percent of CBS.com leagues.
Russell Wilson into a game manager, someone who is instructed simply not to screw it up for the rest of the team. Even when the Seahawks let Wilson off his chain, he’s throwing to wide receivers who wouldn’t make the practice squads of half a dozen NFL teams. Don’t be scared by the Patriots being absolutely lit aflame through the air in recent weeks, including last Sunday when Peyton Manning dumped 345 yards on the New England unit. Here’s the thing about Wilson: He’s not Manning. He’s not even Alex Smith. Seattle is averaging 147 passing yards a game, second worst in the NFL, behind Blaine Gabbert and his passing-catching jokers in Jacksonville. I’m high on the Patriots despite being a road team in the league’s most raucous stadium. They’re owned in 42 percent of ESPN.com leagues, 61 percent of NFL.com leagues, and 75 percent of CBS.com leagues.at Seahawks – You know how I know the Patriots will shut down the sputtering Seabeagles’ offense? Because Seattle’s only offensive strength, running the ball with Beast Mode, will meet a surprisingly stout run defense this Sunday. The Patriots so far this year are eighth best against the run, allowing 82 yards on the ground per contest. The Evil Empire has given up just two rushing touchdowns this year. They’ve also proven adept at jarring loose the pigskin, recording four recovered fumbles through five weeks, third best in the league. It’s clear that Pete Carroll has converted exciting rookie quarterback
I’ve written extensively about the Dolphins defense in this space, so I won’t bombard you with another pro-Miami diatribe. Instead, I’ll remind you that they’re playing the Rams in South Beach without Sam Bradford’s favorite person on planet earth, Danny Amendola. Think about that before you settle on a mediocre defensive play this week.